I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You dont lie about slip and slides
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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