really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
