kristin has been a bad kristin
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
