woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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