How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize