Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
