i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Randomize
