idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
