I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
