You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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