I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
