I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
