Have you finally orgasmed yet?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
