I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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