He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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