His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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