you have to choose: penises or morals?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
