By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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