can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
