After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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