xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
