Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
my liver is dry heaving
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
