thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
