And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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