Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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