My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize