i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
