dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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