Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He? As in you personified your dick?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
