If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
