Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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