dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize