Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
