The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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