Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
