I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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