i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
