come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 ðŸžðŸ·
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
