We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
