Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
