Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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