What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
