he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you mean i was at the winter classic?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
