I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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