I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
