You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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