I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
