why didn't you poke me back
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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