I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
