highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
