There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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