I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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