Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My pussy is not your playground.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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