I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize