I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
His nipple licking is glorious
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