we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
