I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize