so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
