She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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