my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
