apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
