I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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